The Tenth Cirle of Hell???

Dante bought to the world the Nine Circles of Hell. However Dante, being male and living in the 14th century was unable to comment on the Tenth Circle of Hell - Motherhood involving 3 Children and a Photographer. If I thought the other week was bad, well was I in for a shock today.

Firstly, like many of the levels in Dantes Epic, this has a number of sub-layers. The first sub-layer involves getting out of the house on time, a relatively simple task for most but one which still seems to escape me. The hellish part is the fact that I hate, hate, hate being late for things, it makes me feel terrible and guilty. The thing is I was really quite organised this morning and I still left 15 minutes later than I wanted too.

The next ditch in this layer involves traffic. Why is it when you are already running late, everyone else is too? Or does it just seem that way because you are running late? Thats a question for Dante to ponder on while we move onto the next place which is of course...

The dreaded looking for a parking spot. Last time I got through this particular minefield pretty easily. It was so not to be this time round. It makes me wonder why businesses like this choose trendy, inner city places which are impossible to park in. It doesnt make the experience any nicer for the client and if that client happens to be me it simply adds to my frustration and general pissed off attitude.

Now those ditches are pretty tame in comparison to the next lot. The next 3 layers are for the ultimate evil doers.

The first is the actual photo shoot itself. At this point relatively normal, generally ok-ish kids will turn into horrible little devils whose heads spin whilst uttering every sort of profanity known to Motherhood (ie the word NO). Smiles will be non-existant, tempers will be thrown, generalise chaos will reign supreme. You get the idea.

The next level, even more sinister is "the viewing". See above for general outline of behaviour, just a different room with less toys LOL.

And finally the ultimate pit, the darkest well of dispair - THE BILL!!!!!!!

Of course assuming that you manage to negotiate your way through this, you are blessed with beautiful children with perfect manners who calmly and nicely say goodbye to the photographer and all is once again well with the world. WTF!!!!! Why do they put on the nice act once its time to go, why, why, why does that always happen?

Of course in conclusion it could probably be noted that Dante called his epic The Divine Comedy... isnt that what motherhood is all about. Maybe I should give Dante more credit.