Fucking Pregnow (this post will contain huge amounts of swearing...)

Woke up Friday morning to that familiar slight staining and cramping which tells me that its now time to start looking for far more reliable means of contraceptive.

So just for fun and knowing that I would never get to use them again in real life I did a preg test that I had found in a packing box from when I found out about Madam. Needless to say I was a tinsy bit alarmed when I saw a line. Holy shit, this isnt a period this is implantation bleeding. Tinsy bit alarm rapidly excalated to full blown, mind numbing, paralysing sheer panic. Fuck, fuck, fuck - four kids, I didnt even really, really want 3 kids, but 4, no, no, no, NO!!!!!

Hang on, lets look at this logically, FF has never failed me before. OK if I ovulated around the time we last did the deed then I'd be 11dpo - line should be darker. Shit, fuck, shit, crap another miscarriage. But hang on, twice we have conceived with a 4 day cut off, maybe I'm only 8 or 9 dpo line is faint enough for that. But then why the bleeding.

Shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit!!!!!!! Why do these things always happen when the Biggest Feral is away, why, why me *insert pitiful wailing which goes on for a bit, quite uninteresting and awfully repetitive*.

OK, calm down, act rational deep breath. Sleep on it check things out in the morning. At this juncture I would just like to note that the spotting I'd been getting was not getting any worse so immediate assumption implantation bleeding.

4am, fed Madam and given that I could sleep I decided to try another test. Still ambiguous but bleeding definitely not getting any stronger. Pregnancy is looking particularly likely. Oh shit this is making me feel ill. Oh shit, its definite then, I have morning sickness already. Shit, shit, shit. How could we let this happen, how could we be so god damn stupid. We'll need a new car, kids will have to share rooms, damn cramps, I feel like shit. God these cramps are awful, did I have cramping like this with the other, shit I cant remember. My mind has gone blank, oh crap, pregnancy brain is setting in.

Throughout today, its become obvious that "AF" is back and even I can see that "the lines" are evap lines. But dear god, talk about scary the living shit out of me. Never was pregnant, never will be again. No more miscarriages, no more pregnancy, and never, ever, ever again, never will I POAS. And never, ever, ever will I ever, ever again trust a fucking PREGNOW!!!! Lesson learnt. Bring on 5 Nov when Mirena gets inserted.

And just for interests sakes here are the offending tests... did I have a reason to drop my bundle or am I just going senile, you be the judge.

So proud of my Little Feral

The little Feral has certainly come a long way in the past year but most especially in the last few months. So you can imagine how heartwarming it is to get things like this from him.


He's had a go at writing his name and the person is definitely a discernable person as opposed to just having a scribble. It amazing how much he has learnt and how confident he has become this year. I put it down to having an awesome kindy teacher, I just want to kidnap her and make her teach Feral for the rest of his schooling life she's just that wonderful!!!

Today he had OT with BW (who for the rest of this blog shall be known as BWOT). She's very happy with his progress. Still wants to focus on his auditory memory but his visual memory is superb (he beats the Big Feral and I at memory on a regular basis). He is confident to attempt tasks now which was something he was lacking at one stage.

So all in all I'm thrill with his progress. Hopefully next year with good guidence and support from school he will continue to blossom.

The Tenth Cirle of Hell???

Dante bought to the world the Nine Circles of Hell. However Dante, being male and living in the 14th century was unable to comment on the Tenth Circle of Hell - Motherhood involving 3 Children and a Photographer. If I thought the other week was bad, well was I in for a shock today.

Firstly, like many of the levels in Dantes Epic, this has a number of sub-layers. The first sub-layer involves getting out of the house on time, a relatively simple task for most but one which still seems to escape me. The hellish part is the fact that I hate, hate, hate being late for things, it makes me feel terrible and guilty. The thing is I was really quite organised this morning and I still left 15 minutes later than I wanted too.

The next ditch in this layer involves traffic. Why is it when you are already running late, everyone else is too? Or does it just seem that way because you are running late? Thats a question for Dante to ponder on while we move onto the next place which is of course...

The dreaded looking for a parking spot. Last time I got through this particular minefield pretty easily. It was so not to be this time round. It makes me wonder why businesses like this choose trendy, inner city places which are impossible to park in. It doesnt make the experience any nicer for the client and if that client happens to be me it simply adds to my frustration and general pissed off attitude.

Now those ditches are pretty tame in comparison to the next lot. The next 3 layers are for the ultimate evil doers.

The first is the actual photo shoot itself. At this point relatively normal, generally ok-ish kids will turn into horrible little devils whose heads spin whilst uttering every sort of profanity known to Motherhood (ie the word NO). Smiles will be non-existant, tempers will be thrown, generalise chaos will reign supreme. You get the idea.

The next level, even more sinister is "the viewing". See above for general outline of behaviour, just a different room with less toys LOL.

And finally the ultimate pit, the darkest well of dispair - THE BILL!!!!!!!

Of course assuming that you manage to negotiate your way through this, you are blessed with beautiful children with perfect manners who calmly and nicely say goodbye to the photographer and all is once again well with the world. WTF!!!!! Why do they put on the nice act once its time to go, why, why, why does that always happen?

Of course in conclusion it could probably be noted that Dante called his epic The Divine Comedy... isnt that what motherhood is all about. Maybe I should give Dante more credit.

Photo session take 2

Hi Clag

We'll be heading off for photos shortly. This is a take 2 due to the fact that the first photo shoot was an absolute debarcle. Picture this (no pun intended)... 1 right little "I'll smile for no one" Madam, 1 little feral putting on his very, very best terrible two performance and 1 big feral doing his well they are so I will too act. All in all not particularly condusive to gorgeous, long lasting memories, more like hair-tearing, tear inducing nightmares.

So we shall see what today brings, I live in eternal optimisim that all will be well.

Scarred for life maybe

Gee I must have been horrifically scarred by the whole "lost house" debarcle, I havent come here to visit in over 18 months. Much has changed since then Clag because while "lost house" was nice OUR NEW HOUSE is a million times better. Yes you read that correctly Clag - OUR NEW HOUSE ie the house we currently reside in, the house which currently sucks us dry (LOL) and the house where our two ferals and darling little madam play and scream and fight and....

...oh didnt you know that either... yes my ultimate dream has come true, I have a darling baby girl and she is absolutely gorgeous. Born end of May 2007, Little Madam is quite delightful.

Well I'm glad we've had this little catchup Clag. And honestly I will definitely try and do better. You know me dont you old matey (yeah only too well I'm sure).